The No-Resistance Philosophy
Key Takeaways
Pressure can increase resistance; respectful questions can clarify concerns
When clients object, get curious instead of defensive
A client may reconsider an answer or disagree with your interpretation
They Object. You Get Curious.
"They have the right to object. You have the right to be curious. No resistance ever."
Arguing can make a difficult conversation harder. Respectful questions can help you understand an objection, but they do not guarantee agreement. A client may have a sound reason to decline.
Possible Responses to an Objection
| Your Response | Their Reaction |
|---|---|
| Argue | May make the client feel dismissed |
| Explain clearly | Can answer a specific information need |
| Defend reflexively | May miss the concern |
| Ask respectfully | Can invite clarification |
Why Curiosity Works
When you ask questions about their objection:
- You're not attacking their position — You're exploring it
- You can check understanding — The concern may be well founded
- They feel heard — Not sold to
- They keep control of their decision — Agreement is not the required outcome
The Curiosity Response Pattern
When a client objects, follow this pattern:
- Acknowledge — "I hear you..."
- Get curious — "Help me understand..." or "What's behind that?"
- Listen — Really listen to their answer
- Layer deeper — Ask a follow-up about what they said
Example Transformation
Client: "I don't believe in life insurance."
| Defensive Response (Creates Resistance) | Curious Response (Invites Discussion) |
|---|---|
| "But your family needs protection!" | "Tell me more about that. What's shaped your view?" |
| "What if something happens to you?" | "What's your thinking on how your family would manage?" |
| "Everyone needs life insurance!" | "How do you approach protecting your family financially?" |
The curious response gives them room to explain. Respect a request to avoid the topic. Explain relevant risks, costs and limits honestly when a recommendation is appropriate.
The Mindset Shift
Old mindset: "I need to overcome their objection." New mindset: "I need to understand their objection."
When you truly understand why they object, you can address the real concern—which is often not what they first said.
The Insurance Skeptic
Someone who has had bad experiences with insurance salespeople
Setup
A referral from a satisfied client arrives at your office. Within the first few minutes, they make it clear they have strong negative feelings about insurance products.
Client says:
“Look, my friend said you were different, but I've been burned by insurance people before. They sold my parents all kinds of garbage they didn't need. I'm here to talk about investments, not insurance. I don't want to hear any insurance pitch.”
Practice Objectives
- 1Do NOT get defensive or immediately try to differentiate yourself
- 2Get curious about their past experience (what happened?)
- 3Understand what "garbage" means to them specifically
- 4Acknowledge their skepticism is reasonable given their experience
- 5Let them lead the conversation to what they want to discuss
The Market Timer
A client who wants to time the market despite your advice
Setup
An existing client calls during market volatility and wants to sell everything and wait. Their goals, cash needs or ability to bear loss may have changed. Understand the request before discussing alternatives.
Client says:
“I want to sell everything. The market is going to crash further, I can feel it. I'll buy back in when things settle down. I know you probably disagree, but it's my money and I've made up my mind.”
Practice Objectives
- 1Do NOT lecture them about market timing being a bad strategy
- 2Get curious about what they're seeing/feeling that's driving this
- 3Ask questions that help them think through their plan
- 4Explore what "things settling down" would look like to them
- 5Discuss current needs, risks, costs and authorization; do not promise a recovery or delay a valid instruction merely to persuade them
A client says "I don't trust financial advisors." What's the best response?
"I'm different from other advisors—let me show you."
"That's understandable. What experiences have shaped that view?"
"I'm a fiduciary, which means I'm legally required to act in your interest."
"Most people feel that way until they work with a good advisor."