Key Takeaways
- Complex situations require patience and humility
- Sometimes the best answer is "I don't know"
- Your role has limits—know them
When Things Get Complicated
Some situations don't have clean answers:
- Mental health issues affecting financial decisions
- Possible elder financial abuse
- Clients making clearly self-destructive choices
- Family conflicts you're caught in the middle of
- Requests that push ethical boundaries
These require humility, care, and sometimes professional help beyond what you can provide.
Signs of Cognitive Decline
An elderly client showing memory issues
Setup
A client you've worked with for 20 years (now 78) has started forgetting conversations, asking the same questions repeatedly, and making decisions that don't align with their stated goals.
Client says:
“Thanks for meeting with me. Now, remind me—what did we decide last time about my portfolio? I want to make some changes. Actually, wait—didn't we already make those changes? I can't remember. Anyway, I want to give $100,000 to my grandson for his business. He's got a great idea.”
Practice Objectives
- 1Observe carefully without diagnosing
- 2Gently assess their decision-making capacity
- 3Avoid embarrassing them about memory issues
- 4Consider who else should be involved
- 5Slow down major decisions if concerned
- 6Know your obligations and limits
Possible Financial Abuse
An elderly client with a new "friend" influencing decisions
Setup
An elderly widower client has recently started mentioning a new "friend" who's helping him with things. Now he wants to add this person to his accounts and change his beneficiaries.
Client says:
“I need to make some changes to my accounts. I've met someone wonderful—her name is Linda. She's been helping me so much since Martha passed. I want to add her to my bank accounts so she can help pay my bills. And I want to change my beneficiaries to include her. My kids don't call enough anyway.”
Practice Objectives
- 1Express gentle concern without accusing
- 2Ask questions to assess the situation
- 3Explore how they met and what the relationship is
- 4Understand the timeline and progression
- 5Consider whether family should be notified
- 6Know your legal and ethical obligations
The Ethical Line
A client asking you to do something questionable
Setup
A long-time client is asking you to help them with something that feels ethically wrong—not clearly illegal, but definitely questionable.
Client says:
“I need a favor. My ex-wife is coming after me in the divorce. I want to move some assets around so they're harder to trace. Maybe put some things in my mother's name temporarily. You've known me for years—you know I'm not the bad guy here. Can you help me protect my money?”
Practice Objectives
- 1Do NOT agree, even if you sympathize
- 2Explain why you can't do what they're asking
- 3Acknowledge their frustration without enabling
- 4Suggest legitimate alternatives if they exist
- 5Maintain the relationship if possible
- 6Document the conversation
The Mental Health Crisis
A client in acute psychological distress
Setup
A client calls and is clearly not okay. They're rambling, emotional, and hint at self-harm. This is outside your expertise but you can't just ignore it.
Client says:
“*Voice shaking* I don't know what to do anymore. The divorce, the job loss, the markets... I've lost everything. I keep thinking, what's the point? My kids would be better off with the life insurance than with me. I just... I don't know why I called you. I'm sorry. I just didn't know who else to call.”
Practice Objectives
- 1Take any mention of self-harm seriously
- 2Stay calm and present on the call
- 3Express care and concern
- 4Do NOT try to be their therapist
- 5Encourage professional help (gently)
- 6Know crisis resources (988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
- 7Follow up appropriately