3.4 Sentence Structure, Dangling Modifiers & Objective Reporting
Key Takeaways
Dangling and misplaced modifiers alter sentence meaning by attributing actions to the wrong subject, creating logical absurdities that damage report credibility.
Active voice establishes clear personal accountability by placing the actor before the verb, avoiding the passive obscurity common in bureaucratic writing.
Objective police reporting relies exclusively on observable sensory facts—sight, sound, smell, touch—strictly excluding subjective conclusions and assumptions.
Eliminating wordy bureaucratic phrases and redundant police jargon produces concise, punchy narratives that withstand legal scrutiny.
3.4 Sentence Structure, Dangling Modifiers & Objective Reporting
A police report is a public record, a legal foundation for criminal prosecution, and a reflection of an agency's professional standards. The most critical qualities of an effective incident narrative are clarity, conciseness, and objectivity. When an officer writes in dense, passive bureaucratic jargon or inserts subjective opinions, the report becomes vulnerable to attack in court.
FPSI lists "ease of understanding" among the skills in the PACT's Writing Ability section. Correct modifier placement, direct active voice, and objective wording are what make a report sentence easy to understand, so this section teaches all three.
Modifiers: Identifying and Correcting Modifier Errors
A modifier is a word, phrase, or clause that provides descriptive detail about another element in the sentence. To function correctly, a modifier must be placed as close as possible to the specific noun or pronoun it modifies. When a modifier is positioned incorrectly, it distorts the factual meaning of the narrative.
1. Dangling Modifiers
A dangling modifier occurs when an introductory descriptive phrase (typically a participial phrase ending in -ing or -ed) has no logical subject to attach to in the sentence, or when the intended subject is omitted entirely. Because the grammatical subject of the main clause immediately follows the introductory phrase, the sentence absurdly attributes the action of the introductory phrase to the wrong noun.
- Defective: "While running down Elm Street, the gun fell from the holster."
- Literal Meaning: The gun was running down Elm Street.
- Correction: "While running down Elm Street, Officer Davis noticed that his gun had fallen from its holster."
- Defective: "Approaching the suspicious vehicle, a strong odor of burnt cannabis was detected."
- Literal Meaning: The odor was walking toward the vehicle.
- Correction: "Approaching the suspicious vehicle, Officer Jenkins detected a strong odor of burnt cannabis."
- Defective: "Upon searching the suspect's backpack, three stolen credit cards were discovered."
- Correction: "Upon searching the suspect's backpack, Deputy Ross discovered three stolen credit cards."
2. Misplaced Modifiers
A misplaced modifier is separated too far from the word it modifies, creating confusion, unintended ambiguity, or humor.
- Defective: "Officer Adams questioned the suspect with visible facial bruises."
- The Ambiguity: Did Officer Adams have facial bruises, or did the suspect?
- Correction: "Officer Adams questioned the suspect, who had visible facial bruises."
- Defective: "A loaded .38 caliber revolver was recovered by Corporal Ortiz under the driver's seat."
- Correction: "Under the driver's seat, Corporal Ortiz recovered a loaded .38 caliber revolver."
The Placement of Limiting Modifiers
Words like only, nearly, almost, barely, and just must be placed immediately before the specific word they modify. Notice how moving the word only changes the factual testimony:
- "Officer Clark only fired two rounds." (Implies Officer Clark did nothing else except fire).
- "Officer Clark fired only two rounds." (Correctly states the quantity of ammunition discharged).
Active Voice vs. Passive Voice in Law Enforcement
Voice describes the relationship between the subject of the sentence and the action performed by the verb.
- Active Voice: The subject performs the action expressed by the verb (Actor -> Verb -> Target).
- Example: "Officer Ramos handcuffed the combative suspect."
- Passive Voice: The subject receives the action, while the actual actor is either relegated to a prepositional phrase or omitted entirely (Target -> Form of to be + Past Participle -> by Actor).
- Example: "The combative suspect was handcuffed by Officer Ramos."
- Agentless Passive Example: "A taser was deployed."
Why Active Voice is Mandatory in Incident Reporting
- Accountability and Transparency: In use-of-force encounters, passive voice hides the identity of the actor. In court, a sentence like "Force was applied to the suspect's torso" appears evasive and deceptive. Prosecutors and juries need to know: Who applied force? Active voice establishes immediate personal accountability: "Officer Diaz struck the suspect's torso with a closed fist."
- Brevity and Vigorous Prose: Active voice uses fewer words and eliminates weak auxiliary verbs (was, were, is, been).
- Chronological Vigor: Active sentences depict actions moving forward in chronological time, reflecting how field events unfold.
When is Passive Voice Permissible?
Passive voice is acceptable in police reporting under only one legitimate circumstance: when the actor is genuinely unknown at the time of the investigation.
- Correct use of passive: "The commercial safe had been cracked with a cutting torch prior to the arrival of store employees."
Objective Factual Reporting vs. Subjective Editorializing
A sworn police narrative must be an unvarnished catalog of verified sensory facts. Courts require officers to describe what they observed with their five senses—what was seen, heard, smelled, touched, or measured—rather than recording emotional impressions, character judgments, or unsupported legal conclusions.
The Five Senses Test
When writing a report, ask yourself: Did I directly perceive this fact through sight, hearing, smell, or touch, or am I interpreting what I think happened?
| Subjective Editorializing (Inadmissible / Weak) | Objective Factual Reporting (Admissible / Strong) |
|---|---|
| "The suspect acted suspiciously and looked guilty." | "The suspect paced back and forth in front of the bank entrance, peered through the glass doors four times, and clutched an unzipped nylon duffel bag under his arm." |
| "The driver was visibly intoxicated and belligerent." | "The driver stumbled when exiting the vehicle, leaned against the rear quarter panel for support, slurred his speech, and emitted a strong odor of alcoholic beverage from his breath." |
| "The subject became extremely aggressive for no reason." | "The subject clenched both fists at his sides, assumed a bladed fighting stance, flared his nostrils, and shouted, 'I will break your jaw!'" |
| "The living room was in complete, chaotic shambles." | "Two wooden dining chairs lay overturned on the floor, shattered ceramic plates were scattered across the carpet, and a 3-inch hole was punched into the hallway drywall." |
| "The victim was brutally attacked by a vicious dog." | "The victim had three 2-inch puncture wounds on his left forearm and a continuous laceration along his right wrist, with blood pooling on the concrete below." |
Eliminating Judgmental Adjectives and Editorial Adverbs
Avoid emotionally charged adjectives and adverbs such as viciously, belligerently, brazenly, heinous, recklessly, or calmly. Describe the physical velocity, decibel level, verbatim words, and body mechanics, allowing the judge and jury to draw their own conclusions.
Eliminating Police Jargon, Wordiness, and Redundancies
Many officers erroneously believe that using inflated, pseudo-legal language makes a report sound more professional. In reality, "cop-speak" and bureaucratic wordiness obscure factual meaning, lengthen reading times, and increase the likelihood of grammatical error.
Replacing Wordy Police Idioms with Direct Language
| Wordy / Inflated Bureaucratic Jargon | Clean, Direct Operational Replacement |
|---|---|
| "At this point in time..." | "Now" or "Then" |
| "At approximately 2130 hours..." | "At about 2130 hours" or "At 2130 hours" |
| "Effectuated entry into the premises..." | "Entered the building" |
| "Proceeded to exit the patrol vehicle..." | "Exited the patrol vehicle" |
| "Rendered assistance to the injured party..." | "Assisted the injured party" |
| "In the vicinity of..." | "Near" |
| "Afforded the subject an opportunity to comply..." | "Allowed the subject to comply" |
| "Subsequent to..." | "After" |
| "Prior to..." | "Before" |
| "Made contact with the reporting party..." | "Spoke with the reporting party" |
| "In the event that..." | "If" |
| "Transported the arrestee to the detention facility..." | "Transported the arrestee to the county jail" |
Eliminating Tautologies and Redundant Pairs
A tautology is the unnecessary repetition of an idea using different words. Redundant phrasing wastes space and clutters incident reports:
- Redundant: "The suspect had a past criminal history." -> Correction: "The suspect had a criminal history." (A history is always in the past).
- Redundant: "Officers completely surrounded the perimeter." -> Correction: "Officers surrounded the building." (Surrounded already means encircled on all sides).
- Redundant: "The sedan was red in color and small in size." -> Correction: "The sedan was small and red."
- Redundant: "The witness gave the exact same description." -> Correction: "The witness gave the same description."
- Redundant: "The victim stated her future plans." -> Correction: "The victim stated her plans."
Important
Surviving Cross-Examination on Objective Observations: If an officer writes in a report that a suspect "acted aggressively," a defense attorney will demand on the witness stand: "Officer, define 'aggressive' for the jury. Did my client strike anyone? Did he touch you? No? Then that was merely your personal opinion, wasn't it?" When you write: "The suspect stepped forward, raised both clenched fists to shoulder level, and stated, 'Step back,'" the facts speak for themselves and cannot be challenged as mere opinion.
Tip
The Zombie Test for Passive Voice: If you can insert the phrase "by zombies" after the verb in a sentence, the sentence is written in passive voice. For example: "The suspect was arrested [by zombies]" (Passive). In contrast, you cannot say: "Officer Diaz arrested [by zombies] the suspect" (Active). Use this rapid mental check to catch passive constructions on the PACT.
Which of the following incident report excerpts correctly eliminates dangling and misplaced modifiers?
While searching the suspect's vehicle, Officer Hayes discovered a loaded revolver under the front passenger seat.
Under the passenger seat, a loaded revolver was discovered while searching the suspect's vehicle.
Officer Hayes discovered a loaded revolver while searching the suspect's vehicle under the passenger seat.
While searching the suspect's vehicle, a loaded revolver was discovered by Officer Hayes under the passenger seat.
Which revision converts the following passive, bureaucratic report sentence into concise, direct active voice without omitting essential operational details?
Original: 'Subsequent to the verbal altercation, pepper spray was deployed into the combative subject's facial area by Deputy Morales to effectuate compliance.'
Pepper spray was deployed by Deputy Morales into the subject's facial area after a verbal dispute occurred.
Following the verbal dispute, compliance was effectuated when pepper spray was deployed by Deputy Morales into the subject's face.
To effectuate compliance subsequent to the dispute, Deputy Morales had pepper spray deployed into the subject's face.
After the verbal altercation, Deputy Morales sprayed the combative subject in the face with pepper spray to gain compliance.
Which of the following statements represents pure objective factual reporting that would be fully admissible in a court proceeding?
The driver was clearly intoxicated, belligerent, and unable to care for his own safety following the collision.
The suspect acted in a suspicious and guilty manner, attempting to hide something illegal in his right coat pocket.
The victim was hysterical and seemed terrified of her abusive ex-husband.
The driver stepped out, swayed from side to side, slurred his words, and dropped his wallet twice.
Sections you finish are checked off in the contents.