4.4 Sentence Combination, Syntactic Variety, and Structure

The Power of Syntactic Variety

A well-written passage isn't just a collection of grammatically correct sentences; it's a flowing sequence of ideas. Syntactic variety—using different sentence structures and lengths—keeps the reader engaged and clarifies relationships between ideas. On the ACCUPLACER Writing test, you will frequently be asked to combine choppy sentences or restructure a sentence to improve its flow, logic, and emphasis.

Identifying Choppy Sentences

Choppy sentences are short, simple sentences placed consecutively. While a short sentence can be powerful for emphasis, a string of them sounds juvenile and fails to show how ideas connect.

Example of Choppy Writing: The cat was hungry. The cat meowed loudly. The owner fed the cat.

These sentences are grammatically correct but lack flow. They treat each fact as equally important and separate, ignoring cause and effect.

Methods of Sentence Combination

Combining sentences allows you to show the logical relationship between ideas. Here are the primary methods:

1. Using Conjunctions (Coordination)

When two ideas are of equal importance, use a coordinating conjunction (FANBOYS: For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So) with a comma to join them into a compound sentence.

• Separate: The experiment was dangerous. The scientists proceeded with caution.
• Combined: The experiment was dangerous, so the scientists proceeded with caution.

2. Using Subordination

When one idea is more important than the other, use a subordinating conjunction (e.g., because, although, since, while, if) to turn one sentence into a dependent clause. This creates a complex sentence.

• Separate: The weather was terrible. The outdoor concert was canceled.
• Combined: Because the weather was terrible, the outdoor concert was canceled. Subordination clarifies that the weather is the cause of the cancellation.

3. Using Appositives and Modifying Phrases

Often, a whole sentence can be reduced to a phrase that modifies a noun in another sentence. An appositive is a noun phrase that renames the noun right beside it.

• Separate: Marie Curie was a brilliant physicist. She won two Nobel Prizes.
• Combined: Marie Curie, a brilliant physicist, won two Nobel Prizes. This method is highly effective for eliminating wordiness while improving flow.

4. Using Relative Pronouns

Relative pronouns (who, which, that, whose) can turn a separate sentence into a relative clause, linking information smoothly.

• Separate: The book is on the table. The book belongs to Sarah.
• Combined: The book that is on the table belongs to Sarah.

Establishing Logical Relationships

The most critical aspect of sentence combination is choosing the method that accurately reflects the logical relationship between the ideas.

• Cause/Effect: use because, since, therefore, consequently.
• Contrast: use although, however, despite, yet, but.
• Addition: use and, moreover, furthermore, additionally.
• Time/Sequence: use when, after, before, subsequently.

Student Trap: A common error is choosing a grammatically correct combination that uses the wrong logical connector.

• Incorrect Logic: Although it was raining, the ground was wet. (Implies contrast where there should be cause/effect).
• Correct Logic: Because it was raining, the ground was wet.

Improving Sentence Structure and Flow

Beyond combining sentences, you may need to restructure a single sentence to improve its clarity or emphasis.

Misplaced and Dangling Modifiers

A modifier must be placed as close as possible to the word it describes. If it's in the wrong place, the sentence can become confusing or unintentionally comical.

• Misplaced: The man served sandwiches to the children on paper plates. (Are the children on the plates?)
• Corrected: The man served sandwiches on paper plates to the children.

A dangling modifier occurs when the word being modified isn't even in the sentence, usually following an introductory phrase.

• Dangling: Walking down the street, the trees looked beautiful. (The trees were walking?)
• Corrected: Walking down the street, I thought the trees looked beautiful.

Parallel Structure

Parallelism requires that items in a list or comparison follow the same grammatical form. This creates balance and readability.

• Not Parallel: The manager praised the team for their hard work, dedication, and because they were punctual. (Noun, Noun, Clause)
• Parallel: The manager praised the team for their hard work, dedication, and punctuality. (Noun, Noun, Noun)

Passage-Based Revision Example

Original Passage: The coral reefs are experiencing severe bleaching. This is due to rising ocean temperatures. Many marine species rely on these reefs for survival. The decline of the reefs threatens biodiversity.

Question: Which choice best combines the first two sentences to clarify their logical relationship? Options:

• A) The coral reefs are experiencing severe bleaching, and this is due to rising ocean temperatures.
• B) Due to rising ocean temperatures, the coral reefs are experiencing severe bleaching.
• C) The coral reefs are experiencing severe bleaching, yet this is due to rising ocean temperatures.
• D) Rising ocean temperatures are experiencing severe bleaching in the coral reefs.

Breakdown: The relationship is cause and effect (temperatures cause bleaching). Option B uses subordination ('Due to...') effectively, moving the cause to an introductory phrase that leads smoothly into the main clause. Option A is grammatically okay but wordy. Option C uses 'yet', which illogically implies contrast. Option D mangles the meaning entirely.

Strategies for the Exam

When faced with sentence combination or structure questions:

1. Identify the core logic: Are the ideas contrasting, supporting each other, or indicating cause and effect?
2. Check the connectors: Ensure the conjunctions or transition words match that logic.
3. Look for concision: The best combination often eliminates repetitive subjects or verbs (e.g., using an appositive).
4. Read it in context: Ensure the newly combined sentence flows logically from the preceding sentence and into the following one.